It's back to school time...
50 Fun Things for Professors to Do on the First Day of Class
33. Bring a small dog to class. Tell the class he's named "Boogers McGee" and is your "mascot". Whenever someone asks a question, walk over to the dog and ask it, "What'll be, McGee?"
4. Wear a pointed Kaiser helmet and a monocle and carry a riding crop.
46. Sneeze on students in the front row and wipe your nose on your tie.
26. Every so often, freeze in mid sentence and stare off into space for several minutes. After a long, awkward silence, resume your sentence and proceed normally.