(Norris)

Top 100 Facts about Chuck Norris:

When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof.

Chuck Norris once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "Shitting bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.


More...